It Was Funny at One Time

One is no longer permitted to use the phrase “deja vu” by itself. It MUST be accompanied by “all over again.”


Inane modern American phrase #5762: “bucket list.”

Please Don’t Say That

At the very pinnacle of American moronity is the phrase, used by football announcers, “take it to the house.”

Down the Shore

I don’t recall how the subject came up, but recently, while sitting on the beach in beautiful Ocean City NJ, my daughter Amy said to me, “nobody not from New Jersey can possibly know what ‘down the shore’ means.” If you’re from New Jersey you’ll understand exactly what she meant.

In the Soup II – Constitutional Crisis

A constitutional crisis, loosely defined, occurs when the rules of an organization don’t adequately cover the situation at hand. I’m in a men’s group that’s been meeting for years, and we have very few rules. In particular we have no rules at all concerning the expulsion of a member. Since this issue has never arisen we’ve had no problem, but … Read More


In Italy, and in good Italian restaurants everywhere, pasta is served with a smallish quantity of sauce spooned over the top. To homogenize the dish by mixing thoroughly with a fork is wrong.

Around the Block

Every once in a while someone will ask me a question like “Do you think you’re enlightened?” The answer is easy: no, not even close. But, spiritually speaking, I’ve been around the block.

Can You Relate?

For a long time now I’ve been a fan of things that make no sense. On a trip to India in 1985 I was walking alone in a small town and passed by a dark, grimy auto repair shop. I wondered what would happen if I went in and demanded that they serve me an egg salad sandwich.

The Scrunch and the Silence

For about 20 years I used to jog about five times a week in Cheesequake State Park, a beautiful park which was about a mile from our house in New Jersey. Unless I just wasn’t in the mood I’d go out regardless of weather, be it pouring rain or deep snow. In such conditions I’d forego my jogging shoes for … Read More